How I Got Robbed In Guatemala and Other Hard-To-Believe Escapades: Part 2
August 14, 2009 by Anil P.
Filed under Guest Post
This is part of a true story written by Marina Villatoro who writes the travel blog Travel Experta about everything you need to know about Central America. Every Friday over the next two months I’ll be posting another chapter of this adventure. Catch up with Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, and Part 11 in case you missed them.
Arrival to San Marcos and Meeting the Host
San Marcos, My Reality
“Hold up. I think the place is on the left,” Henrik yelled out at me while I was dreaming of settling down and raising kids in this little village.
Sure enough, not far from the dock, in the entrance way of a wooden two-story thatched-roof home, three sets of smiles greeted us.
Henrik, Janka and I slowly made our way over to them and were oddly congregated in front, banging into each others’ bags as Henrik kiss-kissed his friends. I backed up and got a better look. Leaning against the door was the most beautiful girl I have ever met. She wore a helmet-like, sky-blue knitted hat which brought out the aquamarine in her gigantic blue eyes. Blond tinges fell all around her face enhancing a perfectly chiseled nose and chin. She made no effort to introduce herself, instead spun her five-foot-ten-inch frame on her bare heels and began the tour of her house.
The other smileys departed without a sound.
Cat, the Owner of the House
Sad to say, this girl’s beauty only ran skin deep. The instant she uttered her first word, we all cringed. Her voice was so lacking in mellifluousness that each word sounded like nails scratching a chalkboard. Dressed in an over sized T-shirt exposing a bare shoulder, Cat was the quintessential hippy. She was in her mid-twenties, living in San Marcos for the past two years, give or take a few months, since she doesn’t believe in keeping track of time.
I have no idea what she paid for the house, but it couldn’t have been more than fifty bucks. It was a glorified shack, without electricity, phone, and an outhouse without any water. Apparently the dirty lake was at her disposal at all times. Why waste energy installing a plumbing system?
From the moment we stepped over the threshold, we were instantly engulfed in a dark gloom, which lingered until our exit. I squinted my eyes into focus and looked around the living area. Filth. Dirt. Flies. There wasn’t a clean spot in sight. Dirty clothes, encircled by flies, were everywhere. Small tables and chairs were littered with crusty dishes and spilled food. She sat down on a small mound of clothes reached in the direction of the dishes and lifted a cup infested with flies. This was the clean batch! She leaned back, slowly, and sipped a green gooey liquid. We remained standing like a bunch of fools, swatting away at the flies while she educated us on primal living.
With one swift motion she brushed off a wooden table and whipped out a deck of tarot cards.
“The moon is rising in Sagittarius…uh-uh,” she nodded to herself. “The cards are telling me today is a good day to travel…hmmm… Great… This confirms what my cards read four days ago.” Silence descended as she contemplated God-knows-what, stared out into space and ignored us completely. Did her entrusted tarots drop any hints that it was the wrong time for ME to travel?
Listlessly she rose content with the reading and continued our tour. Up the stairs we marched.
“Be careful. There might be some food leftovers here or there, try to walk around them,” she said.
SOME… every step on the one-time wooden staircase was a hodgepodge of garbage, dirty clothes, rotted food and dollops of flies. It was an obstacle course the marines wouldn’t tackle.
“This is where I sleep…” she pointed to a crumpled up polka-dotted comforter with three pillows. “One of you can sleep here… ok…”
We shook our heads indifferently. For us to fit on the second floor entailed standing on the unmade bed. The second Henrik stepped on to the comforter the dots came to life and a frenzied black cloud swarmed towards us. I made a beeline downstairs and out the door.
The backyard. I flew directly into a red bucket filled with decaying clothes. To support myself from not falling in entirely, I tried to lean against the swinging doors to get my balance and landed in the shitting pot. I must have let out a cry, because the rest of them hurried in my direction, to stop my fall.
“WATCH OUT!!!” Cat screamed, “That’s the landfill.”
“The what!!!???” I gasped.
“The landfill,” she ran over to me, “I didn’t have a chance to tell you. We don’t have garbage pick up. We have landfills: biodegradable and non-biodegradable.”
During my little ordeal, the other smileys reappeared. They were the fifty-cent street fair booth cliché pair: he was rail long and she was a blimp. Between the inflated woman’s bosom and arm lay an infant. She handed it to Cat.
Guess what… a mother and child live here!
House Sitting For A Reason
“Oh… one more thing… it’s the reason you guys are house sitting for me,” Cat proclaimed, propping the kid up with a knee and holding it with one arm. Slyly, she reached under her loose shirt and brought out a leathery flap of skin. With unnecessary force she stuck it into the child’s drooling mouth and squeezed it like a tube of toothpaste, to get the last drops of milk out.
“Sometimes I don’t have enough milk for Katia. We’ve got Lannie for that. Twice a day you need to walk her.”
We trailed her to the other side of the house and met Lannie. Tied to a medal rod, was a very tired old goat. Recently she birthed a cute, clumsy little son who hung on to her udder and stared up at us with sad, confused eyes.
“Make sure she doesn’t stay in one place to long, our neighbors complain that she eats too much grass from their yard. Take her by the lake and then milk her. There are plenty of containers in the back for milk storage.”
Where the hell did they get a nursing goat from? Is goat milk safe for a three-month-old girl?
Completely disinterested Henrik asked Cat, “Whacha ya drinkin’ in that cup?”
“Ganja butter.”
This explained everything (well, almost).
“You guys are welcomed to it. There’s some left in the kitchen, just leave me some, for when I get back… it takes hours to cook and I’ll need to eat something when I return.”
“No problem…” Henrik replied, anxious to get to the ganja.
I was starting to have some serious doubts about all of this…
[photos by: ..stiina.., legdog, textile fetish]
Bio
Marina has been living in Central America for over 7 years and her site Travel Experta is all about traveling in Central America. Marina loves to help people plan the perfect vacation to this amazing part of the world! You can sign up for her RSS feed and join the fun on her Facebook fan page and follow her on Twitter at @MarinaVillatoro.
Overcoming 7 Major Obstacles To Traveling The World – #5 You Have Kids Or Will Soon
A number of you are planning to travel the world one day, which won’t happen unless you can overcome these 7 obstacles. Here are Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 of this series.
Overcoming the obstacles to traveling the world begin with shedding your past, dealing with the present, and then preparing for the future. Hopefully by now you see yourself traveling the world in this future. Leaving your day job, saving up enough money, and planning out a trip can be quite liberating and open up your mind to new possibilities as well as give you a lot of time to worry about may come – like children.
This new future you see yourself in will be unfamiliar and unpredictable. Whether or not you have young children, want them, or don’t – the fear that you may be jeopardizing your future can set in. Children often represent what’s to come but share a lot in common with the traveler psyche that can ultimately inspire your desire to travel on new levels.
There Is No Blueprint
There is no magic time to travel the world or deadline set in cosmic stone that you are racing against. The future is unpredictable regardless if you never travel the world or not. Thoughts of future children or “waiting” until your young kids grow up is a way to externalize your fear. All travelers are not 20-somethings backpacking on their own.
There are plenty of family travel blogs out that will prove this point – below are just a few. (Feel free to add to this list in the comments below.)
- Away Together
- Delicious Baby
- Double the Adventure
- Family On Bikes
- Family Travel Guide
- The Q Family Adventures
- Soultravelers3
There are also plenty of helpful moms and dads out there to help answer your questions, like tips for a first time flight with an infant.
Children Are Natural Travelers
Almost everything is an adventure for a child. Their sense of wonder and curiosity motivate them to explore the world around them – much like adults who want to travel around the globe.
When we think of traveling with children we often see images of babies crying on airplanes and toddlers pouting. It’s true that children get bored easily during the actual act of traveling, but so do we; except that we can occupy ourselves with iPods, movies, books, alcohol, etc. to keep occupied. Put that image aside and realize that traveling the world doesn’t mean constant motion.
Having children with you doesn’t make traveling impossible, it just presents a few additional challenges at times. There is far more time for everything else.
Is It Them Or You?
We worry about children because we ascribe adult characteristics and our own fears on them (or our future visions of children to come). Adults often think children will have a hard time coping with change, learning new languages, and making friends without the benefit of staying in the same place for years.
In general children are much more adaptable than adults and have an easier time acquiring multiple languages (in fact one of the best ways to learn a new language is to think like a child). Also, making friends will be easier for both you and any kids than you think.
New Perspectives
Children can add an entirely new perspective to anywhere in the world you visit. One of the most creative ways I’ve seen this demonstrated is when Jen from My Folie a Deux handed her camera to her daughter to show us how we see Marrakesh. Traveling with children can open your eyes to many things you may not have noticed before or add an extra dimension to your travels somewhere along the way.
Keep It Real
Worrying about intangible things, like the kids you will have, or saying you can’t do something because of the kids you do have can rehash all of the fears you have already over come – like leaving your routines, money, and uncertainty. Don’t turn a dream into a nightmare. Break down your life (if you have kids already) or the anxieties you have about the future so you can tackle them like any other issue you have faced.
Ask yourself, what do you want to tell your children you accomplished and regretted in life and what are the reasons you want to travel the world?
If the answers to those questions are good enough for you, why not your children?
Since I don’t have children myself I’ll let all of the traveling parents speak for themselves and invite you to share your experiences.
You’re now getting close – there are two final obstacles to overcome. Next week you’ll be dealing with the present, putting some things in the past, and jumping into the future.
[photos by: oenvoyage, muha...]
My Interview with Ben Kazez About The Free iPhone App HotelPal
Ben Kazez is one of the developers of the FlightTrack iPhone application and recently developed HotelPal – a free application for the iPhone and iPod Touch. Ben was happy to answer a few questions about the application, another free and useful iPhone app for travelers.
In a Tweet of 140 characters or less, describe what HotelPal is.
Browse & search hotels worldwide with full-screen photos, live availability, rates and more. Then reserve the perfect room right in the app!
What advantage does HotelPal have over booking online before you get to your destination?
Our goal was to make it easier to book hotels on an iPhone than it is on a computer. Online travel sites typically try to sell you flights and rental cars along the way, display unhelpful extraneous info, and sort hotels in mysterious “Our Picks” orderings that actually reflect the amount of commission that the travel agency makes, not the value to the traveler. With HotelPal, we’ve trimmed it all down to provide just what you need. You can sort hotels by price or distance, compare locations on a map, and view important details from photos to amenities to live rates and availability.
Even better, HotelPal makes it possible to research travel plans from anywhere, with anyone — on a bus, while waiting in line, or elsewhere. It opens up all sorts of possibilities for travel planning.
Is HotelPal’s search limited to a certain set of hotels?
HotelPal includes over 100,000 hotels, inns, resorts, and B&Bs worldwide. You’ll be surprised just how many smaller, independent hotels are included. It’s not everything, but it’s among the most complete hotel databases available anywhere.
How does booking a hotel with HotelPal work?
To book, simply pick a room, type your billing info, and tap Book Now! Typing booking info on an iPhone keyboard isn’t fun, so we’ve added a unique feature called Secure AutoFill — choose a password and HotelPal saves your booking info for the future with secure encryption. It’s like keeping a credit card in your wallet, only more secure. After you’ve booked, it’s a simple tap to get directions from your current location to the hotel.
What about people who don’t have iPhones, anyway they can use or try out HotelPal?
Your best bet is probably to befriend an iPhone or iPod touch user. 
HotelPal does require an iPhone or iPod touch right now.
Anything else we should know about HotelPal?
It’s a free download, so give it a shot next time you traveling! We think you’ll love the full-screen photos — it’s amazing how much detail you can get about many hotels without having to scope out the places on foot.
What other projects are you working on next?
We’re always working on updates to FlightTrack, FlightTrack Pro, and HotelPal, as well as other helpful travel apps. Stay tuned and follow us on Twitter @Mobiata for the fastest updates!
Thanks for letting us know more about HotelPal – the app is free for both the iPhone and iPod Touch. If you have any more questions feel free to ask Ben in the comments below or add your own thoughts on HotelPal after giving it a shot.
4 Days Left To Enter The Cheesiest Travel Photo Contest
The deadline to send your funny, touristy, cheesy photos of yourself is this Friday so send me your picture if you haven’t already. To recap, all you need to do to enter The Cheesiest Travel Photo Contest is email me your cheesy photo (your face has to be in it) to anil(@)foxnomad.com before the end of this Friday, August 14th.
I’ll begin posting the entries next week from August 17th-19th and post my favorite 7 on Monday, August 24th. All 7 of the selected pictures will win a prize. Which prize you win will be determined by a reader poll, but you will win something.
The prizes again: #1: $150 via Paypal, #2 The travel book or DVD of your choice (up to $30), #3,4,5 Cabin Cuddlers, #6 any one of the books I’ve reviewed, and #7 a $25 Travelocity Hotel Gift Card.
Additionally all email subscribers (newsletter subscribers too), Twitter followers, and Facebook fans are automatically entered to win a 4 pack of ultimate sporks (which come in very handy when traveling). The winner for this prize will be selected randomly.
You don’t have to be a great photographer or professional so don’t be shy. I’ve gotten some hilarious cheesy pictures and can’t wait to share them with you – join in the fun too!
[photo by: KayVee.INC]
