A number of you are planning to travel the world one day, which won’t happen unless you can overcome these 7 obstacles. Here are Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5 of this series.
Dealing with the obstacles to traveling the world starts by overcoming the external and practical elements of such a journey and working your way inward. Coming to terms with leaving your job (Part 1) and being prepared financially (Part 2) are easy to overcome because ultimately you are shedding things and leaving them behind.
After coming to terms with your family (Part 4) and your future (Part 5) you might have to face the one person you can’t go without, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife. How you approach your significant other is probably the most important part of the process.
Have A Plan
It’s easy after breaking your plan to travel the world down and making it realistic to get excited and simply plop down a “I’m going to travel the world” or “we’re leaving” on your loved one. The thought of traveling the world seems crazy at first to all of us who’ve contemplated it – once it’s not so crazy we’re ready to go and often neglect to consider that the people we love need to hear the plan too.
Assuming you’ve done a good job formulating a plan and putting it on paper you can share how you’d like to travel the world with your sweetie. It’s important though to get them in on the planning process as early as possible and not to be scared your idea will be rejected.
“We” Not “I”
When you’re involved with someone are going to travel the world there are no solo plans. There are solo ideas that you can share with each other to help refine all of the things you need to take care of in preparation to your trip. There will be stress during the process. Move along in the process together and don’t get ahead of each other or opposed to one another.
Your plans and relationship can be easily derailed if the topic of traveling the world becomes a huge argument or creates a big rift.
- Accept that there will be stress at times and various reactions to your ideas. Move past each issue together.
Ongoing Process
If you’re worried about what your significant other’s initial reaction don’t be. A first reaction is not a final reaction and you’re bound to face some doubts. (You did too when this idea first came into your head!) Overcoming each of the 7 obstacles to traveling the world don’t happen overnight neither will convincing or planning a trip around the world with your partner.
The process is ongoing for you both. Hopefully you’ve begun discussing the idea to travel the world early on and can go through the doubts, triumphs, and obstacles together. We each have things that take longer to accept or work around so move at the same pace so one person isn’t playing catch-up and ends up feeling lost.
Make Or Break
Sometimes it’s not always possible to agree to travel the world. In strong relationships generally there is enough in common between two people where it’s not an issue but not always. There may be other factors involved, the relationship may be new, or you don’t know how you feel or “where it’s going”.
These are what I call “make or break” moments – what is more important to you and what will your ultimate decision be?
Finding love on the road is different and as Nomadic Matt notes,
There’s a bittersweet nature to love on the road. There’s a short shelf life to them. Relationships tend to last as long as the people are traveling together. But they tend end better than relationships back in “the real world”.
but adds this,
So is it possible to have love on the road? Yes. Occasionally you meet that special someone who also happens to be going your way. You end up traveling on the road for awhile, spending months together, and having a great time doing it.
Couples Who Are Traveling The World
Is it possible to travel the world with the one you love? It is and there are so many travel blogs out written by people doing just that. Here are a select few but there are plenty of others on my links page.
- The Planet D (Canada’s Adventure Couple)
- The Road Forks
- Two Go RTW
- Married With Miles
- Guy & Girl Travels
Next week we’ll tackle the biggest obstacle to overcome and only person who can hold you back from your dreams – yourself.
[photos by: haileybugg, Brandon Milner, laurenmarek]
Another cool addition to the series. I’m leaving with my girlfrien in a few months and it never really came to my mind to leave without her. There have been some fights on some parts of the organisation but we both want to go to the same places so i’m lucky that way.
Thanks Kevin. It’s really a good feeling when you can share the traveling experience with someone. It does take the right person and the right approach though to get past all of the bumps – especially in the planning stages.
Anil, This is a great post and thanks so much for including us in it! I completely agree that deciding and planning to travel long-term is an ongoing process and moving at the same pace is critical.
I’ve posted before (http://www.theroadforks.com/worldtrip/aboutthetrip) about how the trip was, at first, my idea and Patrick was hesitant about leaving everything behind — especially since he has a great career. We tackled it one step at a time, going through all of the hesitations and concerns that each of us had, and then whittling them down until we agreed on the best way to manage our trip. It sometimes makes me sad when I read the fairly frequent posts on Bootsnall asking “should I stay with girlfriend/boyfriend OR should I travel long-term?” The answer doesn’t need to be mutually exclusive if you can work through the issue with your significant other. After all, isn’t compromise what relationships are all about?
Hi Akila,
I enjoyed the dialog on your page and it’s a good example of how the conversations involving travel go (if done right). You’re right it’s about compromise and traveling with a significant other doesn’t have to be limiting. There are many new ideas and strengths brought to the table when two heads are thinking.
Hi Anil,
This is one of the biggest challenges indeed and what I/we are doing is taking small trips to understand each other’s styles and needs before starting a big one. It can be a relationship strengthening experience indeed!
btw, I know another couple who is traveling with their kid: http://travelvice.com/
Hi Priyank, I agree. I see differing traveling styles as strengths at different times which ultimately helps most trips long or short. Ironically though I think this is where most arguments come up.
Appreciate the link as well, Craig’s blog is great.
i love traveling with my husband. we learn so much from each other – our strengths, and our love and partnership continues to grow.
I think adventure stimulates relationships 🙂
Just bring your significant other! Relationships split by the road rarely ever last
You’re right, it’s hard to maintain them.
I met my significant other while I was studying abroad in China and we traveled together through the entire semester. When we got back to the States, it was no different. He lives in Boston and I in New York city but we see each other at least once a week. We still find time to travel together. Not as often as we did when we studied abroad but I guess this is where the “reality” factor comes in. We both have work to deal with but we’re still together and it’s been almost two years.
It must be a good commitment and relationship – I think it would strain many couples to be a apart for most of the time. But like traveling, you work within the circumstances you have 🙂
My husband and I just had this same discussion last weekend. I can see it as a real possibility in the next few years, but for him, it’s a foreign concept. I think it will help in the coming years that we meet others along the way who are doing it. Then it doesn’t seem so outrageous. I’m trying to steer us towards places where we’re likely to meet them.
Definitely the more you talk about it the less crazy it seems. The best way to make traveling the world seem realistic to yourself or anyone is to meet and get in touch with the people who are actually doing it. I think you’ve got the right idea and am sure that you’ll find what works best for you both.
Good article, Anil.
I admire people who make the decision to travel the world, and when it comes to being a couple on the road, it puts the relationship in a different light, with different stresses and situations to deal with. I travel on (relatively) short trips and even then I can see different elements at play that I don’t see back home. Sometimes we just need our own space instead of being together 24/7, which is an unnatural situation to be in long term. Not that I’m complaining! 🙂
Personally I like the element of variability and slight uncertainty that frequent traveling brings to a relationship. Your stresses are different but the bonds that can develop are great too. A relationship is an adventure in itself!
Hi,
I’ve awarded you with a “Travel Bloggers Linking Award” which you can read about at – http://balineseindonesia.blogspot.com/2009/08/travel-bloggers-linking-award.html
Do pass on the award and inform other travel bloggers regarding the award so that we all can benefit on this and increase awareness of our blogs.
Thanks!
Hi Anastasia, I appreciate the link award and the mention.
Ah, but I have an easy solution. Stay single! I love being by myself when I travel. No “other”” to consider, I can do what I want when I want. Of course, now and then it would be nice to be able to turn to a partner and say “Honey, isn’t that beautiful,” but I think it takes a very special husband or wife to handle long-term travel. All in all, the benefits of being solo far outweigh benefits of a relationship.
It is hard – I’m pretty introverted so it had always been difficult to travel with others for me. Even with friends, etc. I prefer being solo on the road but I met someone I just couldn’t resist!
You’re absolutely right, it takes someone with a similar outlook, desires, and you both need the ability to be flexible for each other (like when one of you needs alone time – some more than others!) I’ve been really lucky in that regard.
Great article! My ex and I just split up so he could go on and travel the world. Traveling is something I’ve done a fair amount and want to do long term soon, but I have a lot of loose ends in the states to tie up first. Going with him wasn’t ever even a question.
That’s been tough. There are things you wrote about that I wish had been discussed or considered. But ultimately, for us, at this point in our lives, breaking up was the only answer.
So we threw a party. http://exilelifestyle.com/lifestyle/throw-breakup-party/
Awesome relationships should end awesomely.
I remember Colin left a similar comment on one of these posts and I mentioned in my ebook of this series I just released. It’s an interesting concept-a nicer way to end a relationship than usual.