Last year in March many of you asked whether you were crazy for wanting to travel the world and how to cope with the mental pressure that can accompany undertaking a big life decision. From handling negative family members to wondering whether extended travel reflects some sort of commitment issue, many of us have questioned our sanity from time to time. Today, I’m happy to have back Dr. Jamey Levy who will be here for an additional hour to diagnose your wanderlust.
Dr. Jamey Levy is a psychiatrist at Bellevue Hospital in New York City, where he works as the unit chief on a general adult inpatient unit. He also has a private practice in NYC and is in training to become a psychoanalyst.
The chat is open today, July 22nd from 9:30pm-11:30pm US EST (1:30am-3:30am GMT). Scroll down or click here to join the conversation below.
Dr. Levy will be by later this evening but you can begin submitting your questions for him any time today in the comments section below. Also, SCOTTeVEST will send the commenter with the top voted question their new RFID Travel Vest so be sure to give your favorites a vote up/down using the arrows at the lower right of each comment.
Hi everyone, I look forward to the chat later today with Dr. Levy. Don’t forget that the top voted comment or question will win a free RFID Vest from SCOTTeVEST:
From Facebook Dalene Heck asks: Is there a cure?
I hope not. Any pill that would be developed would probably have side effects such as death or something worse, suicidal thoughts of eating potato chips on your sofa while watching Rick Steves reruns, hanging photos of Rudy Maxxa around your double wide trailer and collecting used baggage tags.
Well, cure implies pathology, so it comes down to why someone is traveling non-stop. As was briefly discussed the last time we had this Q&A, it came up that perhaps some people are always on the move either because (1) they dont feel comfortable being ‘settled’ or (2) or perhaps are “running away from something,” which is a bit of an extreme statement. But these two ideas imply that the motivation is not just to gain pleasure but to avoid pain. If this is the case, therapy would probably be the best option over pills, unless there a problems just very overt such as depression.
From Facebook Lythis Betterton asks: Where does such a strong NEED to travel come from? Why is it such a necessity for happiness and fulfillment for some people, rather than a desire?
Hi Lythis, this question as I’m sure many others unfortunately will be difficult to give an “all encompassing” answer. Like the question above, some people are temperamentally more prone to take risks and seek change, some people are uncomfortable staying in one place and need to be on the move (and perhaps sometimes just the switch is the rewardign part). Then again, ultimately we are inherently social creatures, and sometimes people gain great happiness with experiencing the diversity of culture and experiences that are out there!
From Facebook Ants in our pants Travelblog asks: Is the ability to settle down a human need or only something we learned? Are people naturally nomads?
The beauty (and some might say the detriment) of humans is that we decide what is “natural.” Look around you, what percentage of the things you see are not human-made; even the trees, are they not planted there? Humans are wonderful at adapting to the environment they find themselves in, thats why we have been able to live in every nook and cranny of the world. Since we invented agriculture, about 10,000 years ago, we have become more settled in one place due to farming and needing to be near water (though some, like Michael Pollan, might argue that plants domesticated us and not the other way around). For hundreds of thousands of years we were nomads, and in certain parts of the world we still are. So alot of it is enculturation.
Interesting subject. Often after chatting with their mother our adult children will often say to me. “Does Mom need her European fix?” I could recognize the symptoms, but the first time I was surprised that anyone else did. The symptoms seem to manifest themselves over a three to four month cycle ending in a trip to somewhere in Europe. There is no manifestation of a desire to visit other destinations, but there clearly is a desire to go to Europe. Could it be an innate desire to return to the roots of her lineage? Or could it be merely an unsuppressed desire to break the routine of Cape Cod in order to puncture it with the thrill of the journey? That compulsion to travel in Europe is strong enough to overcome the schlep to the airport, the brutality of TSA and the grueling flight followed by the inevitable jet lag. In a way it seems not dissimilar to banging your head against the wall and saying how good it feels to stop. Is it a sign of mental illness? If it is, then why cure it since I have to go along. We didn’t cure my brother when he thought he was a chicken for we needed the eggs. 😉 Sorry for that old saw. Nevertheless if it is an illness, but it only manifests itself in a couple of trips each year (well maybe four) I don’t think I want it cured.
I thinlk that joke was in Annie Hall. Another good one is “two sisters are eating at a restaurant and one says ‘this food is horrible,’ and the other says ‘yeah, and such small portions!.’
I apologize for repeating, but its near impossible to diagnose mental illness in a forum like this. Sometimes people just need a change every few months; also we live by habit so much more than we realize so that if this has been going on for a while, some ‘clock’ in your wife my just start ringing every few months saying its time for a break and relaxation. As for the place, that is uncertain, but it would make alot of sense if you go to the same or similar place each time that is a reflection of your wife’s heritage.
Again pathology is when somethign interfers with a person’s functioning as wel as others’ around them. If this just signals that its time the fam went on vaca, then its possible nothing is wrong. One of the keys to knowing if this is a cyclical ‘illness’ (which some mental illnesses are) is to know the associated symptoms- is there impulsivity, euphoria or agitation, lack of need for sleep. racing thoughts, making tons of plans but not following up on them, hyperverbal, spending excessively, extreme grandiosoty, increased libido.
Can you be addicted to travel? What would the symptoms be??
Well, i suppose yes and no. Its going to be different from a drug that directly acts on the brain, but there are people that are “addicted” to exercise, in that it becoes all-emcompassing, takes over their lives, and interfers with their ability to do other important things like work or attend to friends/family. For some people, they get a strong reward and perhaps even a ‘high’ from traveling. If a person eventually ‘needs’ this so called high and does not feel good without it there could be a problem. According to the psychiatrist ‘bible’ of mental disorders (DSM), addiction for a drug exists when the following conditions are met:
-Tolerance: Does the patient tend to need more of the drug over time to get the same effect?
-Withdrawal: Does the patient experience withdrawal symptoms when he or she does not use the drug?
-Continued use of drug despite harm: Is the patient experiencing physical or psychological harm from the drug?
-Loss of control: Does the patient take the drug in larger amounts, or for longer than planned?
• Attempts to cut down: Has the patient made a conscious, but unsuccessful, effort to reduce his or her drug use?
-Salience: Does the patient spend significant time obtaining or thinking about the drug, or recovering from its effects?
-Reduced involvement: Has the patient given up or reduced his or her involvement in social, occupational or recreational activities due to the drug?
I’d like to turn the question around a bit and ask, “Do you think that those of us who travel perpetually (or extensively) have talents or character traits that are out of the ordinary, such as a higher tolerance for risk, greater fearlessness, or a greater ability to embrace change?”
Hi Barbara, its a good question but one thats really hard to have a definitive answer for, as many times it depends on the individual. There are some studies with people that may be more ‘reward seeking,’take risks more, and could sometimes be more impulsive, and some sometimes these studies show that the ‘reward center’ of these folks are more readily activated in these situations. Even without official ‘research’ into these sorts of things, we can often just see in temperament that some people are less risk adverse, and sometimes later in life that can lead to better adaptability to change.
I have to admit that I am restless whenever I have to stay in one place too long. Seven years ago I took what I had intended to be a 6-month round-the world trip but by the end of it there was no question of returning to corporate life. Travel changed me in ways I could not anticipate and now I crave the experience. I used to think there was something wrong with me, but I have a theory that the reason I love it so much is that travel stimulates my senses in a way that keeps me fully present, and I like being in that state of mind. Not sure if there’s a question in there somewhere, but I do know I no longer feel like there’s something wrong with me.
I would look up ‘mindfulness’. Seems that travel makes you more present in the moment and appreciate the world around you.
Congratulation Barbara for having the top rated comment/question of this month’s live chat! You’ve won a free RFID Vest courtesy of SCOTTeVEST 🙂
Nothing makes me happier than to be in an unfamiliar place traveling. I literally get depressed when I have to be home close to my family but I have a great family. Is there something wrong with wanting to constantly travel to be happy?
These are tough questions, because it can become a very personal situation, and I am not here to analyze or therapize. But i do believe inthe unconscious and that there are many aspect to ourselves that we are not aware of. So I would reflect a little more on why you are depressed when you are home with your famlly; even if they are the most loving and supportive there can still be issues. Plus, there is nothing wrong with being very happy when one travels, but I would also reflect on how you phrased the question – “Is there something wrong with wanting to constantly travel to be happy?” If this implies that you are not happy unless traveling, perhaps there is something deeper going on.
What are some of the ways people can healthily cope with the stresses of travel – whether it comes from changing schedules, family members, or leaving a a solid living for a less standard lifestyle?
Well first I would imagine that many of these worries were thought of before the decision to travel and lead a less standard lifestyle, and the benefits were felt to outweight the downsides. It may sound simple, but if this is the definitive choice one makes it may be useful to keep these pros vs cons in mnd or even write them down and carry them around. There is unlikey ever going to be an absolute ‘right’ answer for what to do, and i fone decides to travel it may be best to always have reminders of why this decision was made and the wonderful things one gains. Its easier said than done, but if one feels this is best than others’ opinions should matter less. If they still do, it may be a reflection of one’s own doubts.
As for just dealing with stress- there are meds to use ‘as needed’, but there are tons of great relaxtion techniques, from meditation, mindfullness, progressive muscle relaxations, deep breathing, ‘grounding exercises. I bet much of this can be found on the goodle
How do you suggest people approach reluctant family and friends who might think a given travel-related lifestyle is truly something that indicates some sort of mental issue?
This is difficult to answer, because there are so many complex factors that go into the question. Truth be told, sometimes there is an problem/issue that is motivating a person to travel alot. But this does not necessarily imply a ‘mental illness.’ The situation can be so variable. Sometimes it is good to heed the words of loved ones and talk to a therapist first, particularly if there is a more ‘concrete’ illness such as depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or perhaps if this is a very big change and one is leaving a lucrative job, lifestyle, etc. But sometimes if a family member feels your making a poor decision, but you know what you want to do, it can be less about approaching the reluctant family as opposed to having them learn to deal with your change in lifestyle. I really cant advocate either way, perhaps Anil or other travelers on this post hve ideas
When you are set on the decision, it can be a great way to heal any reluctant family members by inviting them to a destination they express interest in:
http://foxnomad.com/2009/08/06/overcoming-7-major-obstacles-to-traveling-the-world-–-4-youll-miss-your-family-and-friends/
On a separate note, how often do you travel, if you enjoy it, and how your particular career makes it easy or difficult?
My career makes it difficult to travel for extended periods of time. I’d say I travel 3-4 times/year and I enjoy it immensely.
I’m getting a few questions via email, I’ll begin posting them in the thread:
How can I handle anxiety when things go off plan?
There are many techniques, and it may depend on the situation, how ‘off plan’ things go, and one’s personality (eg someone that sticks to a very rigid itinerary). Since many of these questions are specific to travel, I wonder if Anil or other traveleres have ideas, If there is anxiety when you arrive at a museum an hour late, there are relaxation techniques I mentioned somewhere, here, as well as an evaluation of the situation- are things raelly that messed up or will just a slight adjustment be needed? This might be an example of ‘catastrophizing’ – when a small problem occurs and ones goes to the extreme to assume everything is ruined. Re-evaluating the situation can be very important, because it may be a good time to step back and look at the big picture- you;re on vacation/traveling, possibly with loved ones, away from the dolldrums of work, meeting new people, learning new cultures/food, and seeing new things.
Frequent travel teaches you quickly that plans tend to change. Late airplanes, a long walk tiring your out of afternoon plans, etc. With or without a plan the things you really want to get done almost always do. The stress of it being outside of a plan though is optional (although it can be difficult for many planners to admit!)
As someone who struggles with anxiety in general, I’d add that it helps a whole lot to have fewer plans. Travel slowly. Give yourself a day to settle in (you’re less likely to panic when you can’t find your rental if you don’t have to be at the theater in 20 minutes). Give yourself time in between planned activities so that travel delays, getting lost, etc. aren’t keeping you from anything. And focus on enjoying the moment. If you’re lost in a new neighborhood, take a few photos of lovely streets and pretty buildings while trying to find your way. If you’ve let go of some of the plans, it’s okay to just let yourself wander.
Another one from email:
How should I cope with a partner who does not want to travel?
Are they just staying at home and not traveling with you or are they reluctantly traveling. Relationships are all about compromise. If the former, perhaps agree to do something the other person wants on a different occasion. If the latter, perhaps they can occaionsally choose the destination. Also just sitting down and airing out what the frustrations are- you explaining how rewarding traveling is and how much it means to you, and them explaining why they dont want to travel. This will help to better understand where each other is coming from, plus it will help to compromise and find a middle ground.
One more via email:
What are the biggest advantages in terms of behavioral changes in travelers?
I’m not really sure, since I dont really treat chronic travelers since they away all the time :). I will say though that from people I know who live a life of travel they are so much more ready to ‘say yes’ to new experiences and meeting new people. Like the question above about feeling “normal,” life-long travelers get to see the tremendously vast differences in people/culture as well as the tremendous similarities that humans share so perhaps are less inclined to wonder if their behavior is ‘normal’ or not (as Milan Kundera discussed (I’m paraphrasing) in his book ‘The Unbearable Lightness of being, the difference between any one person an Albert Einstein is a tiny tiny tiny fraction of genetic difference. The similariy is about 99.9999999999%). Also like another question above, they may be more adaptable to sudden changes and get less stressed by them. This is based on a few people I know so cant really generalize.
One sent in from email:
Can traveling ease autism?
Unfortunately i honestly dont know the answer to this. People diagnosed with autism are on a very wide spectrum, so its possible some may benefit and others wont. Still, a couple of hallmarks of autism is difficulty with social interactions and obsessions with very specific topics. This is an educated guess, but a plane, plus a touristy place with many people may not be helpful. It is possible, though I am not recommending, that traveling to a more isolated place, and one that the person perhaps has a particular interst in, could help them feel better. though i wouldnt say that this would necessarily have a long-term effect. People high ‘Asberger’s’ disorder are a little more high functioning and somewhat better with social cues and overall intelligence, so they may benefot more. But it really is dependent on the person. Plus the new DSM got rid of Asberger’s disorder so those people must have disappeared.
Making sure you are surrounded with people with the same interests – is this the most common way to feel comfortable and “normal”? Is the desire to “compare for comfort” one of the factors feeding the need to travel?
Unfortunately there is no ‘best’ way to feel comfortable and normal, and it really depends on what is driving this feeling. That being said, being around like-mineded people will definitely help foster one feeling more “normal,” but ultimately it should come from within, which is was therapy can help with. Anil may have some insgiht into this in re: to traveling, but perhaps when one is first starting to travel it may be better to be around similar people, then with more experience expand out. At the same time, I’m sure someone could argue that it may be best to dive into an unfamiliar situation or people cause you soon learn that the inherent difference one feels is mostly in one’s head. Again though, this is really person specific so I cant really give the ‘right’ way to approach this.
The more you travel, the more you begin to notice “core” human traits and that cultures simply express them in different ways. At first, there can be some culture shock but you find that culture shock is more “custom” surprise. It can be helpful depending on your disposition to change, to travel to somewhat culturally similar places and then branch out from there. Meeting other travelers, particularly from your home country (if they’re around) can also ground you when you’re feeling out of place.
Also, food and family, bring those topics up and you’ll find a lot of common sentiments.
I would love to ask if travel is psychologically addictive. Once started, it seems hard to go back to a ‘normal’ life. People get hooked. Can that be detrimental? I know a few people who travel a lot who seem unable to settle in one spot without feeling discontented.
I would like to thank all of you for participating and Dr. Levy for spending part of your valuable time with us all. A very enlightening discussion and we all hope to have you back again some time in the future.
It’s a sign of mental health! 😀
But you’re not the only one with the “condition”.
Traveling will most likely even improve your mental-emotional health.
Hello I’m Marissa, I’m 19 years old and have traveled a bit. I am currently living in a new town, small community I’m in a relationship with an older man and I love everything I have here. It’s safe and i want to help build my life here yet I have an inkling that once the place is set up I need to test my new confidence and awareness in the world knowing I’ll have this to come back to. Just not sure if I want to leave just yet but idk so many feels