Invariably the conversation comes up as much as I try to avoid it – what I do for a living. I tell people I’ve been traveling and blogging for the past 5 years, visited over 60 countries, and am fortunate to have seen more human cultures firsthand than most will in their lifetime. As I try not to sound like a pompous hippie, they look for insight from this experience, and I’m glad I have at least one to share.
As recently as my travels around southern Mexico with Wandering Earl and his tour group, this question comes up frequently – what have you learned from seeing so much? And one thing always pops into my mind: that people are, at the core, good, noble creatures who are vastly similar to one another.
We’re Damn Sure Not Perfect
Yes, I’ve been a stiff kick to the chest away from being abducted in India, had a camera stolen in Argentina, and come across my share of aggressive touts in Egypt. At the same time I have met Indian engineers running thriving IT companies out of glamorous huts in Mysore, had shots of unknown spirits with my cab driver and his buddies at a stand in Buenos Aires, and felt sorry for the lonely camel touts struggling to survive in the wake of Egypt’s revolution.
For the most part, the walls between us are created when we lack compassion for another; sharing stress has been shown to reduce anxiety, increase sympathy, and promote bonding in men in one example. The vast majority of homo sapiens crave connections with others of our kind – a drive so important to our biology that simply joining a group can reduce your risk of dying by half, over the next year. Humanity begins in childhood, as kids often show us the best humankind has to offer and a common vantage point from which we all arose. Like the ultimate explorers, children, we want to understand the world around us. The more we carry this trait into adulthood, the less impaired our cognitive abilities become as as age. We absolutely love our families. Food, our food, means something intimate to us.
Where we differ is how each culture defines “us” and “them”, what parts of the universe we want to understand, the ways in which we show love, and what makes for a damn good breakfast. If we even eat breakfast at all, that is.
Traveling Has Made Me An Optimist
We live in the safest time in human history, in a wondrous age where more people are in the sky right now than live in Iceland [PDF]. In 1980, only 17% of the world’s children received the necessary vaccines required to reduce the risk of premature death. That number today is over 75%. Such change in the world today is not despite people but because of us.
I am often lost in my travels but my bewildered look has commonly evoked sympathy from those around me. I once scared the living hell out of a middle-aged Bulgarian woman when I stopped to ask for directions. I was able to charm a (toothless) smile from her and she invited me in for tea once she realized I wasn’t going to rob her. She told me of her life during Communism, an era of Bulgarian history I now feel some small connection with. Studies performed at the University of Texas also demonstrate that compassion reduces stress, fear, and anxiety. And it doesn’t take much, even a bit of compassion for an idiot with a map who can’t figure out a grid-layout may be enough to open travel doors.
There Is No Single Ideal Culture
One more thing I’ve realized and witnessed in between layovers and serendipity in Azerbaijan, is there is no one way to be happy. There is no one right or proper culture despite what some ignorant minds think. Hell, we can’t even agree how to nod our heads yes or no. Whether it’s eating, laughing, or listening to Wu Tang Clan, most of us homo sapiens prefer to do so with others. Even the introverts, like myself. The real barrier to humanity is when we draw lines as to what’s “human” and what’s not. However, a few friendly smiles, an honest story, or shared snacks over drinks tends to seep through any artificial barriers we create. We all go about it in different ways, but we are all loyal the same things in life.
If you’re at all pessimistic about the future of our species, travel far and wide, talk to people. Listen. Learn. Laugh, have the local drink of choice. Share an embarrassing story about yourself and you’ll find you may just get one back. You’re now not so different than a completely random person from across the globe – and to me – that can only be a good thing.
You’re absolutely right! Of course, you can learn the same at home. It just seems to be a case of exposure. At home you’re exposed to far more negative experiences and while traveling its the exact opposite. And so many people are so unwilling to leave their own countries for fear of what may happen to them.
Get out there, be positive, and meet positive people. To find out that people from so many cultures will welcome foreigners into their homes with open arms is incredibly life-affirming. And you’re right, its not just the long walks making me feel healthier!
I like your exposure analogy and agree it takes a good blend to begin to gather a complete worldview.
We talk about this all the time. We’re a bit different to you, having settled somewhere different to our country of birth rather than travelling around, but we hear the expat (not very good) issues all the time. Our BIG realisation from our experience of living elsewhere and from previous travels is people are just people, getting on with living and most of them want to get on with others, wherever they may be from. Not sure how many others we or you are going to convince of that one, though. Our advice: Get yourself to a bar (or tea/coffee shop if alcohol isn’t available) and get chatting!! ALL of our friends here are as a result of bar chats. Hmmm, is that good or bad? 😉
Nothing bad about a good bar chat 🙂 And it’s true, it can be hard to convince some people about how really “normal” most of the world’s people are.
Agreed! Even when I’ve been scared or scammed by other people during my travels, it’s not hard to see the humanity the exists beneath the circumstances. It can be sad when the cultural or emotional barriers we create between each other prevent us from connecting because, deep down, we’re all the same, and we all trying our best with what we have. PS Is that first photo of the Meiji Shrine? I really love that place!
I’m actually writing something about that for tomorrow – that often very difficult circumstances lead people to have to try and swindle us (“tourists”) out of a bit more money.
Oh, and yes, that is Meiji Shrine! Time just seems to slow down there doesn’t it…
Yes! This is such an easy thing to forget when you’re surrounded by only a small group of the same people (especially if they’re all assholes!), but so easy to learn when you’re out travelling an interacting with people on a daily basis. Love this post!
LOL, yes true!
This is the #1 lesson I think is worth learning from travel, and maybe even for life in general. It’s so easy to look at other people and view them as “others,” and plenty of people do. It tends to be the people that have had no contact with another culture that make outlandish claims about how uncivilized they might be, whereas the ones who have visited a million places will point out how similar people are. It’s the only way forward for us humans.
That is often the case, isn’t it? The people who warn you the most about a place and its inhabitants are typically ones who’ve never been and seen it for themselves.
I couldn’t agree more.We are all the same no matter where we are from and what continent we live on. I hate when people create the cultural or emotional barriers between each other, like someone was better than another person.
I agree most people are good, since it’s the nature of mankind. However, perhaps more interesting, there are always exceptions, few of which are mentioned above. Problem is it’s those that get us in trouble. What difference did it make that most folks we met in Rio were great, when one guy robbed us? So, how do we dodge the exceptions? Could somebody write that blog post, please?
Hi Erik, a good question and idea for a blog post.
Briefly, I would say that the having many more good experiences than bad give us hope that the anomalies can be greatly reduced over time. I would look at it and wonder what conditions caused someone to rob you. Take that same person and put them in a different environment, would they do the same? Does robbing someone inherently make you “bad”?
The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler has some interesting insight into your question.
I think everyone that travels learns this lesson. Sometimes even people that I expected not to be good, they were, like when sitting and having dinner with smugglers and drug dealers, I had this idea from the movies that after dinner they are going to kill me, but on the contrary it was a very pleasant evening, and I would like to actually meet these people again!
After a day at work I guess many people sit around and talk about the same things, no matter what “work” that happens to be…
This is all so true. As humans we have more in common than we realize and through travel we can learn to appreciate each other the little things that made us just a bit different. Travel definitely helps us to step out of our egocentric world and really connect. I think, too, that we are all innately good…but we change ourselves and suppress the good through the conscious decisions we make in life.
For me, traveling brings up self revelations. For instance the overcoming of lots of fears about my capacities to handle all the unknowns and unexpected including saying yes to invitations of kindness. Sometimes I unhappily learn of my limitations and prejudices. The constant change can be difficult. This is where that optimism has to surface to bring up the energy required to go on. I say good for you to all you travelers